TrotSki:
the communist ski goggle museum
Page Title
goggles.
East German goggles circa 1976. Made by Rathenow which, according to our museum curator's concerningly minimal research, was the centre of East German eyewear manufacturing. The prevalence of doping and human growth hormone necessitated a sturdy, functional ski goggle construction. While some may query the lack of symmetrical construction, it's important to recognize that the sun, wind and snow rarely hit a skier in a symmetrical manner. The loss of an asymmetrical understanding of skiing's natural elements is one of the unfortunate casualties associated with the fall of the Berlin wall.
Another solid pair of ski goggles manufactured at VEB Rathenower Optische Werke in Rathenow, East Germany (date unknown). Similar to the 1976 model with the exception of three giant rivets. Were the rivets an improvement upon the 1976 design? Or did Ice Bloc embargoes lead to shortages in the East German metal fastener supply resulting in the rivet-less 1976 design? If only our museum curator had any inclination to do some actual research.
A rather flashy pair of communist ski goggles made by Ghetaldus in Zagreb, Yugoslavia. Significantly more ventilation than their East German counterparts - significantly less peripheral vision. Unlike the Djokovic family's integrity, the Ghetaldus goggle company appears to have survived the break-up of Yugoslavia and has maintained operations in Zagreb to current day. Our museum curator, who suddenly and inexplicably professes to be fluent in Serbo-Croatian, identified and translated the following curious warning on the box: WARNING: Exercise Extreme Caution if wearing Ghetaldus goggles while driving your Yugo as the loss of peripheral vision may result in serious bodily injury. Also, don't buy a Yugo.
BREAKING! Canada Border Services Agency has seized a shipment of Polish communist ski goggles destined for TrotSki: the communist ski goggle museum (that's us!). We fear our curator may have been apprehended under cover of darkness for interrogation. Nary a comrade would describe him as particularly strong-willed so it's a near certainty he will name names. Shouldn't CBSA be focusing its resources on the cretins and morons currently blocking the border crossings instead of Polish communist ski goggles?! Somewhere there's a dimwitted officer furiously searching the index of the CBSA Operations Manual for "goggles - ski - communist"...
TrotSki has been placed under Communist Ski Goggle Embargo! Hoping to present our curator with a rare communist-era ski goggle treasure upon his hopeful release from detention, we scoured the internet using the google search "Ski goggles & Iron Curtain." With great excitement, we located a pair of Czechoslovakian communist ski goggles circa 1980 at a bargain price of only 19.99 Koruna! We hurriedly contacted Petr the Czech Communist Ski Goggle Merchant only to be brutally rebuffed when he declared that he would not ship his communist ski goggles outside the Czech Republic. We've been Embargoggled! Even worse, we managed to secure the release of our curator from a border detention facility only to have CBSA hand him over to a trucker convoy. Our communist ski goggle museum curator was last seen speeding through southern Alberta in a giant front-end loader blasting his horn, incorrectly citing the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and posting all over social media using the wrong your/you're.
The TrotSki museum has added its first pair of Soviet ski goggles to the collection. We couldn't be more disappointed...not with this fine product of the USSR, but with our museum curator who is currently languishing in an Ottawa jail following arrest for his ludicrous attempt to launch himself into Parliament via bouncy castle. Fortunately, his bail was denied after he refused to refrain from attending any further insurrectionist pig roasts. We have been left to admire this fine example of communist ski goggle craftsmanship from the Soviet "S&G" factory on our own. The goggles are equipped with a detachable shaded visor which provides protection against the glare from any bright red stars. With true Soviet ingenuity, the Western bourgeois goggle foam has been replaced with actual fibreglass home insulation which adds an extra layer of warmth (and skin irritation) on the slopes.
Czechoslovakian Double Shot! Using underworld connections he made in Ottawa Trucker Jail and taking advantage of his striking resemblance to Ivan Lendl, our curator deftly circumvented Petr the Czech's communist ski goggle embargo to smuggle these two very orange examples of commie goggles from behind the Foam Curtain back to TrotSki. Both pairs were manufactured likely in the 1980s by the Okula company based in Nyrsko, Czechoslovakia. Just like Jaromir Jagr's mullet, the Okula company is still going strong in 2022. Strangely, the Okula company has been ignoring our many email inquiries. The first pair employs East German goggle-riveting techniques. Unfortunately, despite the extreme dark-tinted lens, your vision will not be obscured from witnessing your children mock your communist-era ski equipment. The second pair is the Okula "Astro" model. Astro is the Czechoslovakian word for "These fuckers won't stop fogging up." And so ends the Czechoslovakian Embargogglement of 2022. Many thanks to Ivan Lendl.
Another Czechoslovakian Goggles Double Shot!
TrotSki Museum's newly-appointed Acquisitions Chief, Dieter, has announced the addition of a matching pair of Czechoslovakian Okula ski goggles (circa 1980s) to TrotSki's 'collections.' The owner of the orange goggles elected wisely not to endanger his safety with these low-grade communist goggles and never removed the packaging nor the protective plastic lens cover. Regrettably, the owner of the blue Okulas hit the slopes with impaired communist goggle vision and promptly skied off a cliff on Mount Sněžka.
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Please join TrotSki in welcoming Acquisitions Chief, Dieter, who is pictured below in Okula Tatran goggles during a ski trip to the Ural Mountains in 1978 alongside his brother, Günter, who is proudly wearing East German Sportura goggles.
Willkommen Dieter!
Junior Communist Ski Goggles!
The Okula "Ski Baby" model for Junior Communist Skiers. TrotSki's only goggles specifically designed for Pionyr (communist youth) skiers. The youth communist skiers on the box are young Martina Navratilova and Ivan Lendl. It is a little known-fact that, prior to their respective defections from Czechoslovakia, Lendl and Navratilova were rising stars in Czechoslovakia's junior alpine ski circuit. These communist goggles were manufactured in 1972 just about the time that East Germany's Ulrich Wehling and Rainer Schmidt (both pictured below) were achieving Ice Bloc ski jumping glory at the Winter Olympics in Sapporo, Japan.
Dieter's Communist Goggles Recovered!
As a welcoming gift for our newly appointed Acquisitions Chief, Dieter, TrotSki's Curator entered into fierce negotiations with the Swiss Ski Museum to acquire a pair of Okula Tatran communist ski goggles. The Okula Tatran goggles were Dieter's prized possession in the 1970s as he explored the Ural mountains in search of powder, steeps and Brio Chinotto. The cunning Swiss duped our dunce-like curator who depleted TrotSki's dwindling cash reserves of East German Marks to pay the exorbitant price demanded by the Swiss. We have suspended our Curator (once again) whose shameful negotiation strategy is documented below. Dieter couldn't be more pleased...both with the return of his long-lost goggles and the fact that our woodenheaded curator has been suspended.
East German Reproduction Goggles
These communist ski goggles are a post German Reunification reproduction of East German goggles made by the less than aptly-named company, Perfekt. We run a communist ski goggles museum and even we cannot begin to understand why anybody would want a reproduction of East German communist ski goggles.